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Prevent Bullying in 7 Steps

August 22, 2017

By Noralba Martinez

Prevent Bullying in 7 Steps

Why do kids become bullies? They're almost always looking for control and attention and therefore act out in negative and destructive ways. As an early childhood intervention specialist, I've seen children become bullies, but I've also seen how to prevent kids from becoming bullies. By equipping your child with the confidence and assurance they need, you can stop your child from becoming a bully.

You can boost your child's self-esteem with these methods:

  1. Praise your child’s efforts, accomplishments, and desired behavior.
    Acknowledge the wonderful things your child does every day. A simple "you are so smart" can go a long way. When praised frequently, your child will believe in themself and feel confident to face challenges. As you focus on your child’s good behavior, their need for negative attention will decrease. 
  2. Empower your child.
    Give them control over things that are appropriate. Let them pick out clothing to wear, choose an afternoon snack, or select paint colors for an arts and crafts project.

    As your child matures, giving him or her more control over other things can continue to foster confidence and independence. Confidence helps a child feel successful and eliminates the need to degrade or bully someone else.
  3. Role-play different social scenarios with your child and work out possible solutions together. 
  4. Talk to your child about their self-worth and unique strengths. 
  5. Help your child understand that they are in control of the outcome of any situation they face.
  6. Give your child positive attention every time they do something that you want them to repeat. 
  7. Encourage positive social-emotional development by being a role model of respect and consideration towards others. 

Start using these tips today to help your child be compassionate and empathetic. These small steps will build your child’s confidence so that they don't feel the need to make others feel bad and bully them.

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How to Discipline Kids of All Ages

March 21, 2017

By Jessica Vician

How to Discipline Kids of All Ages | Effective non-physical discipline is possible with these tips.

When discussing punishment in our YOU Program workshops, many parents tear up as they share pain and fear from when they were physically disciplined as a child. It's a pain they never want their children to feel, but sometimes don't know how to discipline their children otherwise.

Disciplining a child isn't easy. It’s normal to feel frustrated and mad. If you grew up with physical punishment, take a time-out before disciplining your child to ensure you're cool-headed.

The American Academy of Pediatrics strongly opposes striking a child and discourages any form of physical punishment. Effective non-physical discipline is possible. Here’s how:

Set and enforce rules.
Make it clear to your children what you expect from them. Talk about the house rules frequently, when everyone is calm and things are going well. If the rules are clear and easy to understand, your kids will have an easier time following them.

Be consistent.
Ensure every person who cares for your children—babysitters, grandparents, daycare providers—knows the rules and knows how to enforce them.

Children model behavior and may not follow the rules if you or other caregivers don’t follow them, too.

Be supportive.
When identifying your child's unacceptable behavior, be clear that while you are disappointed with the behavior, you will always love and support him or her.

Use age-appropriate disciplinary techniques.
The disciplinary method you use with your children should depend on their ages. With toddlers, use brief verbal explanations about the bad behavior, then redirect them to another activity. With teenagers, explain what they did and the consequences of their actions.

It is possible to effectively discipline your children with love and without using physical actions. There's no need to repeat the mistakes of the past when parenting in the present and future.

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Parent Engagement in High School

November 29, 2016

By Jessica Vician

Parent Engagement in High School | Parents can facilitate discussions about a healthy lifestyle, including character, self-esteem, and relationships to help them become a well-adjusted adult and a strong candidate for college. | Two teenagers walk to class with books in tow.

High school is a big test for parent engagement. While it can be a time for parents to relax as their teenagers become more independent and take on more responsibilities, it’s also important for parents to facilitate discussions about a healthy lifestyle, including character, self-esteem, and relationships. As your teenager becomes an adult, these important skills and traits will help them become a well-adjusted adult and a strong candidate for college.

Emphasize Character
Since your teenager was a baby, he or she has learned the values and morals that are important to your family, which have shaped his or her personality and character. Now, your teenager is exposed to new ways of thinking and behaving every day. While it’s important for your teen to think for him or herself, you can reinforce those strong values and emphasize the importance of having a strong character.

For example, if your teen wants to quit a sport or a club because it’s too hard, discuss the importance of overcoming challenges and working hard. If he or she is challenging curfew, talk about responsibility. As you apply the concepts of these values to your teenager’s life, he or she will learn how his or her character influences everyday decisions.

Promote Healthy Relationships
As your teen develops stronger friendships, he or she may also start dating more seriously in high school. While you don’t have as much control over who your child dates or spends time with, you still have the power to encourage healthy relationships.

Think about what a healthy relationship means to you. Model that behavior with your parenting partner or significant other. Talk to your teenager about what makes a healthy relationship: open communication, mutual respect, trust, etc. Also discuss what makes an unhealthy relationship: constant fighting, feeling small or unimportant, and violence.

Learn to recognize the signs of an abusive relationship and how to help your teen get out of it here.

Facilitate a Healthy Lifestyle
Teenagers are busy. Between school, sports, extracurriculars, and spending time with friends, it’s hard for parents to keep track of them. It’s also difficult to monitor their health, as they likely eat more meals and snacks on-the-go. Here are some tips to keeping them healthy during busy times.

  • Sit down for breakfast together every morning to ensure your teen starts the day with a nutritious meal.
  • Keep healthy grab-and-go snacks at home, like granola bars, apples, bananas, and oranges.
  • Ask your teen to sit down for a family dinner a few days a week if his or her schedule allows.
  • Take evening or weekend walks together to catch up while getting exercise.

Prepare for College
You have been and always will be an advocate for your child’s education. When it comes to preparing for college, ensure your child is taking the right steps and meeting with the right people from freshman year registration day.

  • Meet with the school counselor to determine what classes your child should take each year to qualify for college admission, including courses that count for college credit, like Advanced Placement (AP) courses.
  • Save your child’s best work for a portfolio, should he or she need it for college admission.
  • Encourage your child to get a well-rounded education by participating in extracurricular activities and clubs.
  • Stay on top of college testing deadlines, like the PSAT, SAT, and/or ACT.

You have spent your teenager’s life preparing him or her for adulthood. High school is a critical part of the race, as your child will take what he or she has learned and apply it as he or she moves toward independence. Use these best parent engagement practices to keep your teenager on track.

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Parent Engagement in the Early Years

November 15, 2016

By Jessica Vician

Parent Engagement in the Early Years | Several examples of how you can practice parent engagement throughout the early years—from day one through kindergarten. | A father reads with his young children.

When raising a child, it’s hard to know when parent engagement begins. With a baby, you’re doing your best to meet the baby’s needs and fit in sleep when you can. Once the baby becomes a toddler, you’re working on small things, like motor skills and reading. But when should you start actively being an engaged parent?

The answer is at the very beginning, but the shape of parent engagement changes as your child grows. Here are several examples of how you can practice parent engagement throughout the early years—from day one through kindergarten.

Infancy and Stress
Raising a healthy and secure child starts in infancy as you hold, soothe, and interact with your baby. That nurturing helps the child develop a healthy sense of self that will allow him or her to better cope with stress when he or she gets older.

In addition to that nurturing, you can further help your baby by keeping your stress away from him or her. When you are stressed, your body produces toxins that affect your major systems. Babies and children can sense your stress as well, so keep the stress away by taking deep breaths, practicing yoga and/or meditation, and seeking therapy if necessary.

Toddlers and Vocabulary
Help your child develop his or her vocabulary by experiencing new things together.

For example, if you live in the city, take a day trip to the country. Your child will see new things and ask about them. If you see a silo on a farm, explain that it is used to store grain. Once your child seems to understand, point to the silo and ask what it is. Help your toddler continue to learn these vocabulary words by taking pictures and looking through them at home, asking him or her to name the things seen during the trip.

Early Childhood and Preschool
When your child is around three years old, you might consider sending him or her to preschool to start the formal learning process and prepare your child for kindergarten. Attending preschool can provide your child with many benefits, such as:

  • Learning concepts and skills, like colors, shapes, numbers, and letters.
  • Learning to play, share, and cooperate with others.
  • Learning to talk and listen to others, along with new words and proper grammar.

Starting Kindergarten
When entering kindergarten, it’s important that your child starts making his or her own choices. You can encourage making smart choices by giving your child healthy options. For example, ask your child if he or she wants yogurt or an apple as a snack. Does he or she want to play t-ball or basketball today? These options allow your child to eat healthy and exercise regardless of the choice, while it also empowers your child to have control over something in his or her life.

It’s not difficult to practice parent engagement. It’s as easy as nurturing your child, encouraging him or her to learn new things and meet new people, and slowly helping him or her learn to be independent.

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5 Ways to Be More Engaged at Your Child’s School

November 1, 2016

By Jessica Vician

5 Ways to Be More Engaged at Your Child’s School

November is our favorite month at YOU Parent, because it’s Parent Engagement Month! The entire YOU Program is devoted to teaching parents the best parent engagement practices and educating teachers about partnering with parents for student success.

While effective parent engagement involves nurturing each of your child’s needs—social well-being, emotional well-being, physical health, and academic development—sometimes the hardest part is knowing how to be an engaged parent at your child’s school.

How important is education to your family?
Teachers aren’t the only people responsible for your child’s education. Children change teachers every year, but they don’t change parents. The first thing you can do to support your child’s education is to demonstrate how much you and your family value education, and therefore show your child how important his or her education is.

Once your child knows how much you value his or her education, you will likely see your child taking steps to succeed at school: behaving in class, doing homework, and asking questions of the teacher and you when he or she doesn’t know the answer.

While you can foster academic success outside of the classroom by engaging your child in discussions about school, certain subjects, and making sure he or she is doing homework, you can also play a role at school.

Talk to the teacher.
Start by proactively reaching out to the teacher to see how your child is doing in class. Email the teacher and ask how he or she prefers to communicate about your child’s successes or concerns. Then find out how your child is doing and ask the teacher for recommendations on supporting your child’s learning at home.

Volunteer in the classroom or at the school.
If you have time to volunteer as a classroom aide, to help at a classroom party, or chaperone a field trip, you express to the school that you are an engaged parent while also showing your child that you are invested in his or her education.

Join the PTA.
The Parent Teacher Association (PTA) at your school is a great place to network with other parents, teachers, and administration. You can directly influence your child’s education at the school by speaking with school staff, fundraising for school supplies, and learning about local and national issues that impact your child’s education.

Attend performances or games.
School isn’t just about academics. Support your child’s social and emotional development by attending his or her performances—like a school play, holiday program, or recital—or sports practices and games. It takes a lot of courage for a child to perform, whether solo or in a group, and your presence demonstrates how much you care.

Request parent engagement training.
The YOU Program, which is the parent engagement program upon which YOU Parent is based, offers various forms of training so that parents can learn how to best practice parent engagement with their children. You can learn the basics in a parent workshop and become a parent leader and train other parents at the school after attending a parent leadership training workshop. Ask the principal to offer a workshop at your child’s school.

By trying one or two of these suggestions, you will prove to your child that you support him or her in school and show his or her teachers and administrators the same. Use Parent Engagement Month to be more engaged at your child’s school.

Is your school hosting special activities for Parent Engagement Month? Tell us what they’re doing and what you will be attending in the comments below.

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