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Do you let your baby cry or do you comfort them?

December 10, 2015

By Jessica Vician

Do you let your baby cry or do you comfort them? | Before you became a parent, you probably talked to your partner and friends and researched what to do when your baby cries. Should you rush to the baby’s side and comfort him or her, or should you let the baby cry it out? | A mother holds her crying baby.

Before you became a parent, you probably talked to your partner and friends and researched what to do when your baby cries. Should you rush to the baby’s side and comfort him or her, or should you let the baby cry it out?

Everyone has an opinion, and many insist theirs is the right one. But what’s best for you? We want to hear which approach—or combination of approaches—you take.

Cry It Out
Some research suggests that letting a baby cry for a short period of time won’t cause any harm and may actually help the baby and the parents sleep longer in the end.

You can try “controlled crying,” during which you wait a certain amount of time before comforting your child. With this method, you first wait two minutes, then the next time three, and gradually extend the amount of time you wait to comfort your child. The intention is that your child will learn to soothe him or herself back to sleep.

Soothe the Baby
Others are strongly against the cry it out or controlled crying approach, stating that a baby’s cry is the only way he or she can communicate. If ignored, the parent isn’t giving the baby what he or she needs.

For example, Ask Dr. Sears, a website with advice from several pediatricians, says,

The cry is a marvelous design. Consider what might happen if the infant didn’t cry. He’s hungry, but doesn’t awaken...He hurts, but doesn’t let anyone know. The result of this lack of communication is known, ultimately, as ‘failure to thrive.’ ‘Thriving’ means not only getting bigger, but growing to your full potential emotionally, physically, and intellectually.

So what are your thoughts on this topic? Do you let your baby cry it out, do you soothe him or her immediately, do you practice controlled crying, or do you just do what you can in the moment?

Tell us in the comments below and share why you do what you do. We can all learn from each other. And remember, if someone does it differently than you, that’s okay. We’re all doing the best we can.

Tags :  parentingparenthoodinfantbabyemotional
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The Simple Way to Be a Better Parent

November 12, 2015

By Jessica Vician

The Simple Way to Be a Better Parent | Our YOU: Your Child’s First Teacher books simplify parenting with easy-to-understand tasks for each stage of your child’s life. Reading these books helps you keep track of necessary milestones and focus on balanced parenting.

Parenting is overwhelming. Rewarding, but overwhelming.

From remembering the routine but critical things—like feeding your child—to planning a larger focus—like whether to raise your child within a faith—often it’s difficult to keep track of everything you need to do.

Our YOU: Your Child’s First Teacher books simplify parenting with easy-to-understand tasks for each stage of your child’s life. Reading these books helps you keep track of necessary milestones and focus on balanced parenting.

Through the Early Years
For example, you know how important routines are for your baby (and for you). In the Through The Early Years book, one of the first activities shows you how to establish a routine for your infant:

  • Choose a time to start the bedtime process every night
  • Soothe your baby with a warm bath
  • Provide the last feeding and changing of the day
  • Snuggle up with a book
  • Put your baby to sleep

Knowing what your baby’s night looks like will help you feel less overwhelmed during the day.

Through Elementary and Middle School
The books also share when you should be focusing on building skills to prepare your child for various milestones at school. In the Through Elementary and Middle School book, there is a section devoted to the importance of reading with your child that explains how to teach reading basics so that he or she is prepared to learn how to read independently at school.

Through High School and Beyond
Parents of teenagers know that parenting isn’t hands-off when the kids enter high school. The third book, Through High School and Beyond, offers checklists like how to:

  • Transition your child to high school
  • Help your teen prepare for college or the workforce
  • Keep your teenager healthy
  • Support homework and study skills
  • Establish technology rules

No matter what stage you’re at in your parenting journey, it’s helpful to have one tool that keeps track of everything you need to do for a happy, healthy, well-balanced child. Grab a set of our YOU: Your Child’s First Teacher books to keep nearby. They’re a quick read that make sure you’re checking off each of the seemingly never-ending boxes.

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What is Parent Engagement and How Can You Practice It?

November 10, 2015

By Jessica Vician

What is Parent Engagement and How Can I Practice It? | A mother smiles as she looks at her daughter, who smiles back.

At YOU Parent, we are huge supporters of parent engagement. Engaged parents have the power to positively influence their children’s lives by supporting their social, emotional, physical, and academic needs, which is why we offer programs that teach parents to do just that.

Schools can benefit from effective parent engagement as well. Research proves that students earn better grades, score better on tests, and are more likely to graduate if they attend schools that effectively implement parent engagement programs.

So we know that parent engagement helps children, but what is parent engagement?

Parent engagement is exactly what it sounds like: parents who are actively engaged with their children. It involves a partnership between schools, communities, and parents that allows them to collaborate for the greater educational success of a child. Actively engaged parents:

  • Encourage their kids to do their homework and to ask questions if they need help.
  • Make sure their children eat well and get enough rest to come to school ready to learn.
  • Engage their kids in learning activities outside of the classroom.
  • Nurture their children’s social and emotional needs to fulfill them outside of academics and sports. 
  • Inspire their kids to seek greater success in life. 

From birth through high school and beyond, there is always an opportunity to engage with your child and support his or her core needs. Get started with these four easy parent engagement activities that you can do with your child. Each activity addresses one of the four core needs.

Social 
Sit down for a family dinner and talk about your days. What was the best thing that happened all day? What was the worst? What did each of you learn that day?

Emotional 

Tuck your child in for bed and lay beside him or her to cuddle for a few minutes before sleep. Show your love with a hug or squeeze.

Physical
Take a short walk with your child. Catch up on each other’s lives.

Academic

Check your child’s homework each night and ask him or her to tell you about the work. How did your daughter get the answer to that math problem? Ask her to talk you through the formula or equation.

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My teenage son is getting into trouble and won’t listen to us. What can we do?

November 5, 2015

By YOU Program Facilitator

My teenage son is going through some changes and seems to be straying off of the right path. I have been told we need to talk to him as parents but he won’t listen to me, and my husband refuses to talk to him. What can I do? | A boy puts his hand up, blocking his mother from speaking to him.

Question: My teenage son is going through some changes and seems to be straying off of the right path. I have been told we need to talk to him as parents but he won’t listen to me, and my husband refuses to talk to him. What can I do?

Answer: This is a difficult situation, because you want to help your son but don’t know how. And deep down, your husband wants to help his son, too, but is likely having trouble knowing how to talk to him.

You and your husband might be surprised by how much your son still needs you and benefits from your time and attention, even as a teenager. Despite becoming more independent and making decisions you don’t agree with, he still needs love and support from both of you.

Think about your relationships with your son before he became a teenager. Then think about what your relationships were like when you and your husband noticed your son straying from that path. How have those relationships changed?

Often as children become teens and more independent, parents give them space. There are many reasons for it: embracing them becoming an adult, respecting their increased need for privacy, and sometimes even because it’s easier now that you don’t have to worry about them in the same ways you did when they were toddlers.

But that change in attention could be affecting your son. While it’s important to respect his new boundaries and step back a bit, it’s also important to spend quality time together and get to know him as he becomes an adult.

  • Give your son affection, even if he doesn’t like it. A few hugs a day never hurt anyone.
  • Make time for him, and ensure it’s face-to-face and not via phone or texting.
  • Resume family traditions, like game night or family dinner. Even if these traditions happen less frequently, it’s important to keep them scheduled.
  • Talk to him, even if he won’t reciprocate. Tell him about your day, ask for advice, even talk about the weather. Eventually, he’ll respond in some way, which can lead to more conversation and help him get back on the right path.

Even if he dismisses your advice or affection, it’s still important to try. At least that way, he’ll know he is loved and still a priority in your lives.


You can learn more about supporting and engaging your teenager throughout high school in the third book of the YOU: Your Child’s First Teacher series.

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Take the Parent Engagement Pledge This Month

November 3, 2015

Celebrate Parent Engagement Month! | We heart parents. Show us your pride as an #EngagedParent

It's our favorite month of the year: Parent Engagement Month!

Throughout the month, YOU Parent will be your one-stop website for all things parent engagement, from the parent pledge to photos for Facebook and Twitter to breaking down what exactly makes an engaged parent. Help spread the word on how parent engagement can help children succeed! 

Take the Parent Pledge
Promise to be an engaged parent this year and take the parent pledge. Click the image below and print the PDF. Snap a photo of your signed pledge and share it with us on Facebook and Twitter using the #EngagedParent hashtag. 

parent pledge textparent pledge text

Share Your Pride on Social Media
Join the conversation on Facebook and Twitter by sharing your stories with the hashtag #EngagedParent. Show your pride by updating your profile and cover photos to the ones we've provided below. 

Downloading is easy. Just click on an image below and it will open in a new browser window. Then right-click on the image to save it to your computer. You can then upload it to Facebook or Twitter directly from your computer—we've already sized each image for you. 

Facebook

A heart-shaped apple logo.





I heart my child. I am an #EngagedParent. November is Parent Engagement Month. From YOU: Your Child's First Teacher.








Twitter

A heart-shaped apple logo





I heart my child. I am an #EngagedParent. November is Parent Engagement Month. From YOU: Your Child's First Teacher.







Click here for the Spanish versions. 

Check back with us throughout the month for more parent engagement fun and be sure to talk to us in the comments below and on social media.

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